Resources - GRACE

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Zane Hart — Thu, 17 May 2029 21:11:00 +0000

Click on the topics below to find a GRACE resource that focuses on that particular issue.

For “Common Questions” that we get regarding abuse issues, visit our Common Questions page.

Understanding and Responding to the Impacts of Child Sexual Abuse Images Online

Zane Hart — Fri, 01 May 2026 09:07:14 +0000

This guide from GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) is an essential toolkit for church leaders facing the digital reality of child exploitation. It reveals that online abuse isn't a "victimless" crime; because digital images last forever, victims endure a cycle of trauma that never truly ends. Leaders are called to move beyond misconceptions and take a proactive stand through immediate reporting, strict accountability, and life-saving safety education.

Key Takeaways for Your Ministry

Words Matter: Use the term Child Sexual Abuse Materials (CSAM) rather than "pornography" to properly acknowledge the violence and lack of consent involved.
A Growing Crisis: With over 10 million reports annually, online abuse is becoming more violent, and victims are getting younger.
Trauma Without an End: Unlike other abuse, digital images cannot be "destroyed," leaving children feeling revictimized every time their image is viewed.
The Hidden Risk: There is no "online-only" offender; many who are caught with images have a secret history of "hands-on" contact abuse.
Confronting Excuses: Offenders often use "cognitive distortions" (lies and minimizations) to hide their behavior; leaders must insist on total transparency.
Mandatory Reporting: Any knowledge of exploitation—including online images—must be reported immediately to law enforcement and the NCMEC Cyber Tipline.
Safety Talks Save Lives: Regular, age-appropriate safety education for kids deters predators and teaches children how to set healthy boundaries.
Safe Boundaries: Anyone struggling with sexual attraction to minors must be directed to professional help and strictly prohibited from participating in youth ministry.

Click the link to read the article - Understanding and Responding to the Impacts of Child Sexual Abuse Images Online

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To Silence The Voices of Victims - An Interview with Robert Peters

Zane Hart — Thu, 04 Sep 2025 16:53:05 +0000

In a recent interview, GRACE’s Director of Institutional Response, Robert Peters, explains that superficial responses to abuse are a profound moral failure that does violence against the souls of survivors. He clarifies that clergy sexual abuse is not an "affair" due to the inherent power imbalance that takes away consent, and its damaging impact is made worse by the weaponization of Scripture.

Peters argues that a faithful, trauma-informed response requires church leaders to seek external, expert consultation and, when necessary, engage in a fully independent investigation. This process must center the survivor's voice and safety to catalyze a genuine movement toward a healthier culture.

You can read the full article in English or Spanish at the links below:

Read in English: Evangelical Focus
Leer en Español: Protestante Digital

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The Toxic Triangle: Understanding How Systems Enable Abuse

Zane Hart — Fri, 18 Jul 2025 17:00:39 +0000

Wade Mullen's insightful article, "The Toxic Triangle," on Pellucid (July 18) offers a crucial framework for understanding how abusive environments are not simply the result of "bad actors," but rather the complex interplay of interconnected systemic factors. This piece is essential reading for anyone seeking to foster truly safe communities and prevent harm.

Mullen introduces the "Toxic Triangle," a model developed by researchers Padilla, Hogan, and Kaiser, which identifies three critical components that converge to enable destructive leadership and environments:

Destructive Leaders: Individuals characterized by narcissism, charisma, and a drive for power, who often manipulate and coerce, framing disagreement as disloyalty.
Susceptible Followers: Those who, often in high-control systems, respond to pressure through conformity (to belong or avoid punishment) or collusion (for personal gain). Mullen highlights different adaptive responses like conversion, compliance, withdrawal, and opposition, emphasizing the need for compassion towards those navigating such environments.
Conducive Environments: Conditions that make it easier for destructive leadership to thrive, such as crisis, loyalty culture, high power distance, contradictions between words and actions, lack of accountability, and weak or unenforced policies.

A core takeaway from Mullen's article is the importance of "thinking in systems." He powerfully debunks common, yet often unhelpful, solutions:

"You Just Need to Be More Assertive": Mullen explains how centralizing power often disempowers followers, and speaking up in such systems can increase personal risk, not solve the problem.
"We Just Need Better Policies": Policies alone do not guarantee safety. Without the integrity and will to apply them, policies can merely give an abusive system the appearance of legitimacy.
"We Just Need a New Leader": Simply removing a destructive leader without addressing the underlying environment and culture often leads to similar problems recurring.

When the "Toxic Triangle" is intact, the system reinforces itself – punishing dissent, protecting the leader, and dismissing complaints. Mullen stresses that realizing "I should've said something" or "I must be the problem" overlooks the powerful, deeply structured nature of these systems.

The path to freedom and recovery begins with naming the system. Being able to identify and describe the interconnected parts of the "Toxic Triangle" exposes what's false and paves the way for clarity, empowerment, and genuine change.

Click the link to read the article - The Toxic Triangle

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The Gaslight Religion: When Faith is Used to Make You Question Your Reality

Zane Hart — Tue, 03 Jun 2025 19:10:20 +0000

The Gaslight Religion uses the language, ritual, and authority of faith not to liberate, but to control. It may not have a formal name or structure. Often, it’s a set of unspoken rules and reactions—a climate of confusion cloaked in sanctity.

It thrives in settings where spiritual trust is weaponized. Where questions are treated as threats, and doubt is labeled rebellion. Where image management is valued over truth-telling, and comfort is granted only to the powerful.

Gaslighting in this environment can take many different forms, but here are some examples:

Spiritual framing of abuse: Harm is reframed as divine discipline. You’re told, “God is using this to grow you,” or “You need to forgive and move on.”

Moral inversion: Moral inversion is when good is framed as evil and evil as good—truth-telling becomes treason.Those who expose harm are portrayed as the problem. Victims are cast as divisive. Moral clarity is recast as arrogance.

Erasure of agency: People are told their suffering is God’s will, or the result of their sin. They’re stripped of choice and voice. Agency—the capacity to act, decide, and assert one’s will—is seen not as a human right, but as a spiritual threat.

Image management cloaked in righteousness: Leaders don’t name wrongdoing; they deliver sermons on unity. They don’t confess; they call for prayer.

Click the link to read the article - The Gaslight Religion

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GRACE Statement on the Resignation of Archbishop Justin Welby

Pete Singer — Tue, 19 Nov 2024 20:54:40 +0000

As Christians reflect on the resignation of Archbishop Justin Welby and the findings of the Makin report, GRACE has prepared a statement emphasizing five critical reforms we have long championed—reforms that every denomination, every seminary, every church, and every Christian must embrace. These are not optional steps but essential fruits of a faith rooted in justice and compassion (Matthew 7:16-20).

HIGHLIGHTS

Archbishop Justin Welby’s resignation highlights the urgent need for systemic transformation in how the Church responds to abuse.

Survivors, through their courage, are calling the Church to genuine repentance and change.

GRACE urges all faith communities to implement comprehensive reforms, prioritize trauma-informed care, and partner with experts to safeguard children and adults.

Together, we can reflect Christ’s radical care for the vulnerable and foster safe, healing environments for all.

Click the link to read the full statement: A GRACE Statement on the Resignation of Archbishop Justin Welby with Addendum.

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Finding A Trauma Therapist

Zane Hart — Thu, 25 Apr 2024 14:54:50 +0000

When someone experiences abuse and/or trauma in a faith-based context, it creates a deep wound. How each person goes about incorporating this trauma into their understanding of themselves, the world around them, and God will vary. For many, the best path includes working with a licensed mental health therapist. Each month, GRACE receives several emails asking if we either provide therapy or can refer to a therapist. While we don’t provide therapy, we often share ideas about how to find a therapist who could be a good fit.

Before we jump in, let us remind you that not all therapists will be a good fit, and ultimately, you have the right to screen the therapists you’re considering. You get to decide if they are right for you and if they have the skills and specialties you feel you need. You can disagree with your therapist. You can change therapists. Once you make an appointment, that does not mean you are locked in forever.

Below is a list of strategies for finding a trauma-informed therapist; please be aware that it is not exhaustive, but rather a place to begin.

First, consider if there are any specific characteristics about the therapist that you feel are important or essential. This may include gender, age, therapeutic approach, faith background/experience, cultural background/experience, location, in-person/remote, or other factors. Some of these may be preferences, but not absolute requirements for you; some may be absolute requirements for you. Once you have identified these, let any therapist you are considering know that these things are important to you. It may take a bit longer, but basic screening questions like these make it more likely that you will find someone who is equipped to walk alongside you in your healing journey.

Once you have outlined some of the core characteristics important to you in a therapist, ask yourself why you are considering therapy. For example, if you hoping work through the ways that a past trauma is affecting you, seek out therapists who are skilled with that need. Almost every therapist has worked with trauma at some point, so the best option is a therapist that specializes in trauma, rather than someone who has just worked with it. In the absence of that specialty, the therapist may not be equipped with the skillset necessary to meet your needs.

If you are looking for support for a specific type of trauma, such as sexual assault, faith-related abuse, etc., ask if the therapist has a specialty or experience with the specific elements of this trauma. Questions to consider asking include:

What percentage of your clients are dealing with trauma?
What type of therapy do you do, and has it been shown effective specifically for trauma? Do you have any specialized certifications?
How do you think trauma impacts a person and their mental health?
Do you have any articles or other resources you would recommend about trauma?
What kinds of trauma do you work with?
Have you worked much with (a specific type of trauma)?
How would you do therapy with someone like me?

Potential therapists should also understand and prioritize a trauma-informed therapy practice. The term “trauma-informed” gets tossed around by a great many therapists and organizations who never actually define what that means in practicality. According to SAMSHA, the key principles of trauma-informed practice include 1) safety; 2) trustworthiness and transparency; 3) peer support; 4) collaboration and mutuality; 5) empowerment, voice, and choice; and 6) historical, cultural, and gender factors associated with trauma. Don’t be afraid to ask any potential therapists about their understanding of trauma-informed practice and how it influences the way they do therapy. You may ask questions such as:

How do you define trauma-informed practice?
What training have you had on trauma-informed practice?
Why do you think trauma-informed practice is important?
What are some things you have done to implement trauma-informed practices?
What are your thoughts on (the six principles listed above)?

Finally, as you seek and eventually find a therapist, don’t forget that you are the expert of your life and you bring your own wisdom to the therapy room. A big part of therapy is helping someone discover and name the things they already know but have been unable to articulate. In other words, YOU play a central role in the therapeutic process. A good therapist should be open to your input, open to your satisfaction or dissatisfaction with how things are going, and to other impressions you have about them and therapy. They should welcome your wisdom. That said, part of their role as mental health professionals is also to challenge potentially inaccurate thinking or unhealthy patterns. When you meet with a therapist, consider if they find the right balance of challenging you and honoring your wisdom, knowledge, and life experience.

You can find additional guidance, including finding a therapist for complex PTSD, from the CPTSD foundation at https://cptsdfoundation.org/2020/08/17/how-to-find-the-therapist-that-is-right-for-you/.

* If the need for therapy is urgent, such as when a person is considering harming themselves or others, you can ask a therapist to see you until you find one that better meets your needs. They may even be able to help you find that therapist.

Care in the Absence of Justice - A GRACE Live Conversation

Zane Hart — Thu, 04 Apr 2024 18:20:00 +0000

When there is no justice, how can you care for yourself and for others? For many of the survivors we speak with, when abuse is not responded to well within faith communities there is additional spiritual and relational pain, trauma, and confusion layered upon the trauma from the initial abuse.

Providing Pastoral Care to Survivors of Child Abuse

Zane Hart — Fri, 29 Mar 2024 18:48:25 +0000

While children who are abused are at increased risk to suffer from numerous medical and mental health conditions, we also know from a large and growing body of research that many maltreated children also suffer spiritually. Moreover, when the spiritual wounds of abuse are addressed, religiosity can be a significant source of resilience which improves the physical and emotional health of survivors.

Unfortunately, very few clergy receive seminary or other education on addressing the spiritual needs of maltreated children. Although this paper serves as a primer for pastors in providing spiritual care for survivors of abuse, it is not a substitute for comprehensive education on this subject. At least two ELCA seminaries have implemented rigorous training on child abuse and other seminaries should follow suit. Pastors who did not receive seminary education on this subject should avail themselves of intensive training available for clergy in the field.

Click the link to read the article - Providing Pastoral Care to Survivors of Child Abuse

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Shattered Sanctuary: The Many Losses of Church Betrayal

Jessa Potvin — Fri, 29 Mar 2024 13:30:40 +0000

Contributed by Katherine B. Wiens, M.Ed, LPC, Witness/Victim Support Coordinator at GRACE

Like many people, I can remember times the church played a wonderful protective role in my life, beginning as a child. At age ten, the state removed me from an abusive home and placed me in foster care. My new foster family became my forever family. With them, I gained a safe, trustworthy faith community that helped me heal from some of the abuse I had experienced. As a child, I loved going to church and Sunday was my favorite day of the week. I had a sense of safety and belonging because people there cared about and for me and gave me help when I needed it.

As an adult my faith continued to grow. I attended a church wherever I lived. These faith communities provided me with friends, a place to belong, and ways to use the gifts and talents God gave me. All this helped me form a positive self-identity.

This all changed eight years ago. There was a prominent older man in the church who was arrested for sexual abuse of a child. This is when all the things I had believed to be true about the church shattered. The church did not speak openly about the crimes the man had committed. Rather, they remained silent for several months. This felt like a way to protect the perpetrator and silence victims and survivors, like me.

My story is not new or unique. As the Witness/Victim Support Coordinator at GRACE, I encounter this distressing narrative time and again. Abuse is uncovered, yet church leaders opt for silence, shielding the perpetrator. Far too frequently, victims, survivors, and whistleblowers are unjustly shamed and vilified for bravely speaking out and seeking justice.

When such instances occur, the losses are profound. For many of us, our faith, religion, and church community are integral parts of our identity. They shape who we are at our core. However, the harm that occurs when abuse is mishandled, strikes at the heart of our being. This leads to intense grief and a multitude of losses.

Here are some of the losses that I and the individuals I support have endured when a church community, which we once cherished and relied upon, betrayed our trust.

Hope

Hope is a powerful emotion, fostering expectation and longing for positive outcomes. When abuse occurs within a church community, there is a profound hope that the institution will act justly and hold perpetrators accountable . Victims and whistleblowers often persistently seek to help church leaders and others acknowledge and confront the abuse. But when church leaders fail to act, hope in their ability to serve as a moral compass for those who have been harmed is inevitably relinquished. Often this hope is let go of in order to facilitate healing and progress for those who speak out.

Safety and Trust

Churches and pastors are traditionally viewed as places of trust and reliability. However, when abuse occurs and victims are neglected or harmed instead of supported, it shatters the very foundation of trust and safety within those institutions.

Innocence

There is an innocence in believing that the church will respond appropriately to abuse. However, that innocence is often shattered when leaders mishandle abuse and end up harming rather than helping victims and survivors. It is difficult if not impossible to unsee what we have seen about the potential for church to harm people.

Identity

For many who have been in the church their whole lives, their identity is often intertwined with being a Christian, belonging to a specific denomination, and participating in a church community. This is a powerful statement of who we are. But when abuse is mishandled, remaining in a church often becomes incredibly challenging. For those who disengage from their church or denomination, it prompts a profound question: Who are they now? For some, this leads them to lose faith in God entirely. This shift in identity can leave individuals adrift, grappling with a sense of loss and uncertainty.

Relationships

One of the most profound losses experienced is the loss of relationships. Within a church community, there's a sense of belonging, a space to give and receive love and care, and a dependable community to lean on. However, when a member voices concerns about how the church is handling abuse, the community often distances itself. Not only does the church withdraw, but they may also shun or ostracize the individual, or couple. When the church has been a central component of one's life, the loss of community is staggering.

Abuse and its mishandling ripples through the entire congregation, affecting everyone. Of course, the most profound impact is always on the primary victims of the abuse. But those who speak out against the abuse, whether victims, survivors, or whistleblowers, are all profoundly impacted. Sadly, this often leads to life-altering consequences and significant losses for those who challenge the leaders. Remarkably though, these brave individuals wouldn’t do things any differently if given the chance. Seeking justice for the least of these is such a profound calling that there is no amount of loss that can silence it.

Toward a More Trauma-Informed Church: Equipping Faith Communities to Prevent and Respond to Abuse

Zane Hart — Thu, 28 Mar 2024 19:34:36 +0000

The church is called to care for those who have been abused. While the church has fulfilled that calling with some survivors of abuse, she has also failed countless people and sometimes created more harm. This article provides guidance for becoming a more trauma-informed church. The most fundamental element of trauma-informed practice is a basic understanding of trauma. Trauma involves an event that overwhelms the normal human capacity to adapt or cope. This event leaves a lasting imprint on the mind, brain, body, and soul. To care for a person who has experienced trauma and prevent retraumatization, a more complete view of trauma is required. Research is clear that one of the biggest factors contributing to resilience after trauma is competent, supportive relationships. Collaboration may occur between the church and survivor, the various people at the church helping the survivor, or between the church and providers or staff from other organizations who work with or may be able to help the person. The church is best able to fulfill this calling when she takes these principles, grounded in Scripture, and lives them out every day as a manifestation of who we are in Christ.

Click the link to read the article - Toward A More Trauma-Informed Church

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BLUE SUNDAY PRAYER

Zane Hart — Wed, 27 Mar 2024 14:57:00 +0000

Click here to download the prayer guide.

Blue Sunday is an opportunity during worship to come together in solemn reflection and unified prayer to remember and support survivors of abuse and those who tirelessly advocate for them. We invite churches and ministries worldwide to unite in prayer, lifting up their hopes and desires for healing and justice to God. Together, let us stand in solidarity, a beacon of light amidst the darkness. May these prayers be a source of comfort and courage, a reminder that survivors are not alone on their journey to find healing, justice, and safe places to worship.

The Use of Images During Forensic Interviews of Children Who Have Been Sexually Abused

Zane Hart — Sat, 21 Jan 2023 18:36:42 +0000

This scholarly publication will discuss how trauma-informed care provides a framework for the use of child sexual abuse materials during a forensic interview. It further assists forensic interviewers in identifying alternatives to this potentially harmful practice.

Click the link to read the article - The Use of Images During Forensic Interviews of Children Who Have Been Sexually Abused

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GRACE Statement on Sexual Abuse within the SBC

Zane Hart — Sat, 11 Jun 2022 13:02:41 +0000

As Christians read and discuss the response of the Southern Baptist Convention to the sin of child sexual abuse and the abuse of adults, GRACE has prepared a statement highlighting five reforms we have long advocated for--reforms that every denomination, every seminary, every church, and every Christian should work for. It is by our fruits that we will be known (Matthew 7:16-20).

Click the link to read the statement - A GRACE Statement on Sexual Abuse within the SBC with Addendum

Questions To Ask Before Sending Your Child on a Church Trip

Zane Hart — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 21:23:36 +0000

By GRACE Staff

Summer camps, mission trips, Vacation Bible Schools, and other youth trips can be very positive and formative experiences for children and teens. These settings for ministry are valued and encouraged because they can provide a great mix of challenge, fun, and spiritual focus. It is also true that we must, as best as we are able, discern if these environments are safe for our children.

It can be challenging to know what questions to ask when trying to determine if your church or camp ministry has set up proper safeguards or if there is real accountability for those who violate the safeguarding policy. This resource will equip you with some basic informed questions that will help you discern if the environment you are sending your child or teen into is safe.

These questions are not exhaustive or all that could be important in weighing your decision. No list of questions can ensure anyone’s safety, but these questions will give you insight into how your church or camp ministry is thinking about abuse prevention and response and what work they have done in this area. In addition, these questions will help you advocate for better policies and practices with the church or ministry you are involved with.

“Tell me about your basic approach to safety and prevention?”

Encouraging Answers Will Include...

A clear and articulate understanding of abuse prevention and safety. Leaders can explain their plan, policies, and practices easily.
They express that safeguarding is a high priority and essential to doing ministry well.
They are working on this area. They are always trying to improve in this area.
They have sought out good resources, and/or outside help.

Concerning Answers...

Listen for
- Denial (e.g. “that sort of thing wouldn’t happen here,” or “we’ve never had a problem with that stuff,”), or any minimization of abuse realities.
- Any hesitancy, or lack of conviction or clarity.
- Lack of forthrightness, defensiveness, or deception.
- The safety policies are a “burden” and “hindrance to doing ministry”.
If their concern is focused on reducing liability for the church or ministry, not primarily focused on the safety of the children and vulnerable.

“How do you train your staff and volunteers?”

Encouraging Answers Will Include...

There is a clear plan to train and equip everyone who works/volunteers at the camp or any chaperones from the church.
Leaders can tell you about a recent training that happened.
Attendance was required in order to work at the camp or chaperone on the trip.
Resources and training materials are up-to-date with best prevention and reporting practices.
Outside professionals were used to evaluate policy and/or train.

Concerning Answers...

Only a few staff are trained.
Staff who do not work with kids directly are not required to attend (all should attend regardless of their role)
The training is liability-focused, rather than victim/survivor-focused.

Follow Up Question

“How often do you review the safety policy with staff?”
- If there is no regular planned review of policy with staff and volunteers, this is a concern.

“Do you have an abuse prevention policy? May I see a copy?”

Encouraging Answers Will Include...

A policy that has clear statements against abuse, a commitment to safety, and a connection to the Christian faith (if it is a faith-based camp).
It has clear definitions of abuse, indicators of abuse, and a training plan explained.
It addresses common forms of abuse (sexual, physical, emotional, spiritual, neglect, etc.).
The policy addresses:
- Supervision
- Isolation (such as no one-adult-one-child situations)
- Touch - There is a clear list of appropriate and inappropriate touch. For appropriate touch, the child wants the touch, the touch avoids sensitive areas, the touch is of a reasonable length, and the touch is accountable to other adults.
- Sexual language
- Texting/social media
- Use of technology
- Changing/bathrooms/sleeping/showering
- Managing camper behavior in a healthy (non-abusive, non-coercive) age-appropriate way
- Protocols around unstructured/unscheduled times, etc.
There is a clear policy on screening staff and volunteers including informed practices that go beyond background checks (e.g. reference checks, good questions in interviews and applications, social media, and internet searches).

Concerning Answers...

No policy exists or the policy is not shared.
An old or out-of-date policy, or a policy that is rarely reviewed, updated, or used to remind staff and leaders about boundaries, etc.
It mentions protecting staff from false allegations. (This shows they have been impacted by myths or outdated information.)

“Who is responsible for upholding the safety policy and healthy boundaries?”

Encouraging Answers Will Include...

All staff, volunteer leaders, and adults are expected to speak up about policy violations or concerns.
There are safety talks for campers so they know the boundaries of the policy.
Boundaries apply to all.
- Leaders, staff, volunteers, chaperones, support staff (kitchen, maintenance, medical personnel), speakers, visitors, counselors, AND campers.

Concerning Answers...

There is no clear direction or encouragement that all adults uphold the safety policy.
No safety talk for campers about boundaries.
Boundaries apply to only certain adults, not all adults, and do not address other campers, staff, or volunteers.

Follow Up Questions

Do you have a policy requiring strict confidentiality by staff? Are there especially extreme measures like requiring NDAs by all staff?
- It is concerning if strict confidentiality is prioritized to protect the flow of information (“no gossip” etc.).
Do you require the use of Matthew 18?
- Be concerned if Matthew 18 must be followed since this passage does not apply to child abuse situations and should not be required. See https://www.netgrace.org/resources/if-your-brother-sins-against-you)
What medical staff will be on-site?
- What is their training?
- Do the prevention policies apply to them as well?
- Are all accidents and medical situations documented?

“How are policy violations or concerns handled?”

Encouraging Answers Will Include...

All staff expected to speak up about policy violations or concerns.
There is clarity on who this information goes to.
Everything is documented.
There is accountability and consequences.
When they need expert consultation, there is a child advocacy center or outside advocacy group listed to call.
Campers are told whom to talk to if someone is violating the policy or causing concern.

Concerning Answers...

There are warnings about gossip.
There are warnings about false allegations.
No outside experts or authorities listed to call for consultations, such as a child advocacy center or advocacy group when staff, volunteers, or other adults have concerns or questions.

Follow Up Question

“Have you ever discovered that a staff or volunteer has violated the child safety policy?” If yes, “How did the church or camp respond?” or “Have you ever removed a staff member or volunteer for policy violations or concerns?”
- It is a good sign if a church/camp shows that they are serious about policy violations. You want to see an affirmation that the church has or would be willing to enforce the policy and hold leaders accountable for crossing boundaries.

“What is your reporting policy?”

Encouraging Answers Will Include...

An external report is made first.
All adults are required to report abuse to the proper authorities, not only mandated reporters.
Any staff suspected of abuse are suspended from any access to kids in the wake of a report.
Clear protocols are provided that prioritize the safety and care of any victims and full transparency in communicating with parents in the wake of a report.

Follow Up Question

“When was the last time the camp/church made a report of child abuse to law enforcement or CPS?”
- A camp that has never reported abuse is not necessarily a good sign. It could mean that they do not have the education, policies, and structures in place that encourage appropriate response. An organization that is comfortable and willing to make a report to law enforcement or CPS is often a good sign. Although it may be possible that a camp/church has not needed to report, you want to see a willingness to report if the need arises.

Churches and ministries should be committed, educated, and trained to safeguard the youth entrusted to their care. Safeguarding children and teens is a direct reflection of the love and heart of God and this ought to empower you to be direct about bringing these questions and advocating for change.

If concerns arise, use your voice. Your involvement and advocacy are needed as we all work together to make faith communities safer for children, teens, and the vulnerable.

Additional Resources

Summer Camp and Sexual Assault: How You Can Protect Your Kids

Written by GRACE Board Member, Justin Holcomb and his wife Lindsay Holcomb.

Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) by Gavin De Becker

This book includes…

Safety skills for children outside the home
Warning signs of sexual abuse
How to screen babysitters and choose schools
Strategies for keeping teenagers safe from violence

The Child Safeguarding Policy Guide for Churches and Ministries by Basyle Tchividjian and Shira Berkovits

This handbook, authored and edited by a multidisciplinary team of child abuse experts, is designed to help Christian churches and faith communities formulate policies and procedures to protect children and deal with possible child abuse in their ministries, schools, and churches.

The Health Impacts of Abuse

Zane Hart — Thu, 03 Jun 2021 19:50:11 +0000

CONTENT WARNING: Explanation of abuse, trauma, and health impacts.

Millions of children and adults are currently living with the effects of childhood abuse. This leaves them vulnerable to significant health concerns, prompting up to 36% higher lifetime healthcare costs for a person who experienced abuse as a child. Jesus showed throughout His ministry on Earth that He cares for our physical health, and multiple Bible passages urge stewardship of the bodies we have been given. Understanding the physical health impact of abuse equips us to care for our bodies and for the children God has placed in our care.

DIRECT INJURIES

Abuse impacts physical health in many ways. Children may receive immediate direct injuries. I have worked with children who received small bruises, cuts, broken bones, sexually transmitted infections, and traumatic brain injuries from the abuse they endured. I have known children who have died from abuse. When we see injuries that concern us, and the explanation makes no sense, it is wise to at least consider the possibility of abuse.

LONG-TERM EFFECTS

Immediate and direct injuries are often easy to see. The longer-term effects of abuse may be harder to recognize. These longer-term effects may include kidney disease, heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, stroke, asthma, allergies, and even cancer. Not every incident of these and other health conditions is related to abuse. It is important to understand that, much like the way cigarette smoking or excessive alcohol use are risk factors for significant health concerns, the presence or history of abuse has significant connections to long-term health problems.

From Subsequent Unhealthy Behavior

How are these more indirect health effects connected to abuse? Some are related to behavioral changes that occur. For example, a person who has been abused may be more likely to engage in behaviors that pose a health risk. This includes smoking, excessive alcohol use, illicit drug use, risky sexual behavior, unhealthy eating, and more. In this scenario, the abuse increases the risk of unhealthy behavior, and the unhealthy behavior increases the risk of the health condition.

From Subsequent Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Effects*

Health effects are also conveyed by the way abuse impacts the entire being of the survivor. Physical, psychological, mental, and spiritual effects all combine in ways we are just beginning to understand. For example, exposure to toxic stress, including abuse, impacts the functioning of three highly integrated systems. The immune system (disease resistance), neuroendocrine system (hormone release to control bodily functions), and central nervous system (brain and spinal cord) are all vulnerable to abuse, and the subsequent changes impact both physical and mental health.

FINDING HOPE AND RESOLVE TO PROTECT THE VULNERABLE

There is hope. We recognize abuse is a risk factor, not destiny. We can move toward healthier behaviors, such as regular sleep schedules, healthy diet, exercise, and avoiding or treating addiction. We enhance the ability to manage stressors by learning self-regulation skills, having positive relationships, strengthening healthy spirituality, and seeking professional therapy. We can advocate for our own healthcare by seeking a trauma-informed provider who understands the health impacts of abuse and then letting them know our history. These actions can help offset some of the long-term health effects of abuse.

Experiencing abuse is a risk factor for health concerns. As such, we must do our best to protect children and others who are vulnerable and to help all who have experienced abuse move closer to healing. We have to always remember that it is a risk factor, not destiny. We can enhance protective factors. We can have hope.

*For more information about these longer-term effects, please reference the following links:

Sexual Harassment: 5 Guiding Principles for Churches

Zane Hart — Thu, 03 Jun 2021 19:23:09 +0000

Between 1992 and 2010 the EEOC received an average of 14,000 reports of sexual harassment a year, with 87% being filed by females (though there was a slight increase in male reports in the last decade). Sexual harassment is “unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.” Oftentimes sexual harassment goes unreported and when it is reported is often not taken seriously. However, sexual harassment is a betrayal of trust and abuse of power, just as other forms of abuse, and the economic and physiological impacts are just as long-term and devastating.

Harassment should be taken seriously as it “strikes at a person’s dignity and self-esteem precisely because it is sexual,” and may serve as a precursor to more serious violent acts, such as sexual assault, rape, and murder. When sexual harassment is present in church culture, the spiritual impact can be great. Below are some guiding principles that churches and church leaders can implement to help combat a culture of sexual harassment in their environment.

1) Begin to change the culture towards an environment of safety.

So often, I hear churches ask me about “preserving the church” or “restoring a person back to ministry” or “reducing their liability.” These should not be the end goals of the church or their primary focus. Churches should prioritize creating an environment of safety and respect for others, recognizing our God-given dignity. The primary focus should be care for survivors, shining a light onto the darkness, and ensuring evil is not allowed to loom in the church halls.

2) Ensure your policies are up to date and enforced

A policy is only as effective as its education and enforcement. What this means practically is if there is a policy, but your staff, volunteers, and congregants do now know about it, are not educated on it, and the policy is not enforced, then you essentially only have a policy for liability reasons; and not for the purpose of ensuring an environment of safety.

3) Ensure your policy has a clear reporting and response plan

When allegations surface, there needs to be a clear plan for institutional response. Ensure there are clear reporting guidelines to someone who is trauma-informed and knowledgeable on issues of sexual harassment, clergy abuse, and abuse of power. If there are female clergy members in your denomination, make sure that there are clear reporting guidelines both at the church and denominational level where necessary. Make sure this person is outside the chain of command and provide multiple options for reporting to give people the ability to report elsewhere in the event the offender is the person to whom they would normally report. Make sure your policy has a response plan in place. A third-party investigation may be warranted in some circumstances, so ensure your policy allows for that. These measures will provide an environment of safety, and ultimately, care well for survivors.

4) Ensure training and policy guidelines for everyone at all levels in the church

There is a misnomer that sexual harassment is “workplace misconduct,” and that it only happens between two employees of an organization. Sexual harassment may occur between employees, a leader, and volunteer, between a congregant, or between two congregants. Sexual harassment can cross gender lines or occur between those of the same gender. It is important that the church not only educate its employees on these issues but inform the entire congregation of what the policy is and what the reporting structures are. This way if someone outside of the typical “employee bubble” has a complaint, they know where to go.

5) Use Scripture Wisely

Certain scriptures (such as Matthew 18) or larger topic messages, such as gossip, unity, and God’s view of sexuality, are misapplied in responding to allegations of sexual harassment or abuse. Unfortunately, when used in these contexts, it may be considered spiritual abuse and further fosters an environment of silence. Churches that normalize encouraging disclosures of abuse by not minimizing the behavior or silencing survivors through messages surrounding gossip and unity are churches that are safe for survivors.

While there have been improvements since the #metoo and #churchtoo movements, there is still much work to be done to combat sexual harassment in the church. Silence surrounding these issues is still very common. When churches care for the vulnerable and broken-hearted, they are the churches that are a city on a hill that cannot be snuffed out.

Sources:

Statistics are from Pamela Cooper-White, The Cry of Tamar, 2d ed., pg. 87.

This definition of “sexual harassment” is taken from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). See https://www.eeoc.gov/sexual-harassment.

Wounded Souls: The Need for Child Protection Professionals and Faith Leaders to Recognize and Respond to the Spiritual Impact of Child Abuse

Zane Hart — Fri, 05 Feb 2021 15:06:37 +0000

Read the full article here.

Children are abused at alarming rates.

In the United States, roughly 2/3 of children go through at least one “adverse childhood experience.”
Between 25 and 30% of girls are sexually assaulted by the time they turn 18, and over 15% of boys experience the same.

The heavy physical, emotional, and relational toll of abuse are widely accepted, but the spiritual impact of abuse has often been overlooked. Churches, ministries, and all Christians must better understand and respond to the spiritual impact of child maltreatment. Important considerations, many of which are addressed in the attached article “Wounded Souls: The Need for Child Protection Professionals and Faith Leaders to Recognize and Respond to the Spiritual Impact of Child Abuse,” include:

Most abuse occurs in the family home. Scripture says several times that the family reflects the believer’s relationship with God. This model is corrupted when abuse occurs.
Scripture is often misused to justify or minimize abuse, condone inaction, force premature or misunderstood forgiveness, and silence or blame the victim.
The survivor is left with intense questions of value and worth.
Abuse can breed anger toward God, an inaccurate view of God’s nature, doubt in God’s existence, and a host of damaging and inaccurate spiritual beliefs.
The image of God as a Secure Base Who empowers Believers to go into the world is corrupted.
The view of God as a Safe Haven to which the Believer can flee in times of distress and suffering is damaged.
The Church can be used by God to be an incredible source of healing.
A healthy response from the Christian community can change the way trauma is experienced and its long-term effects.
Responding well to those who are vulnerable or have been abused is not optional – it is a central command repeated throughout Scripture.
We are not in this alone. Effectively addressing the spiritual impact of abuse will require collaboration.
Each of us, individually and corporately, can be a source of healing or additional harm.

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Abuse in the Church with Mike Sloan on Uncertain

Zane Hart — Thu, 08 Oct 2020 14:31:02 +0000

This interview on Uncertain is about abuse in the church and it features GRACE’s Director of Safeguarding, Mike Sloan. Uncertain is a podcast of TearsofEden.org, founded by Katherine Spearing, which is a community and resource for those in the aftermath of spiritual abuse. Spiritual abuse is when God and the Bible are used to cause shame and harm, leading to a breakdown in the relationship between God, self, and others. Due to its complexity and the limited (but growing) number of resources, TearsofEden.org exists to provide language for naming the experience and an assurance that survivors are not alone.

Click here to listen to Part 1 and Part 2

To Suffer In Silence

Zane Hart — Thu, 18 Jun 2020 17:49:51 +0000

by David Pittman

For 30 years I kept a secret that almost killed me. That same secret was kept by many other little boys. We were all victimized by the same man, yet none of us knew it was happening to the other. Those secrets caused pain, shame, guilt. And it cost one of us his life.

When it comes to the topic of sexual abuse, men and boys are at best an afterthought. Even though the number of boys sexually abused is statistically very close to the number of girls who are victimized, you would think it never happens. Why is that? Why is the sexual abuse of men and boys mostly left out of the conversation? And for the church, addressing this issue has been virtually impossible!

The lack of basic awareness, understanding, and open conversation around the specific challenges that sexually abused boys and men face can lead to catastrophic consequences. So, what do I mean by that?

As a boy growing up in a conservative, fundamentalist church, the only thing we were taught about sex was sin and shame. We were taught even less about sexual abuse…absolutely nothing. Until I was an adult, I’d never even heard the words, “Childhood”, “Sexual”, and “Abuse” used together.

I was raised in the Southern Baptist church and from the time I was 12 until around 15 I was molested and raped by our youth minister. And I wasn’t the only one. There were countless boys at several churches. He’s done it for decades and he still walks free.

One of the questions I get asked most often is: Why didn’t you say something, or why didn’t you say something sooner? This implies that if they were in my position, that they would have done something differently. As Racheal Denhollander says in her book, What Is a Girl Worth,

“It feels safer to believe that abuse happens only to people who “let it”. But this is in fact blaming the victim, because it implies that if victims had just responded differently, they could have stopped the abuse.”

This quote has particular application to male survivors. As boys, most are taught from the day we’re born to be strong, to be the defenders, to be “a man”, by not revealing our feelings when we are injured. When we’re victimized, we have no idea how to cope with the pain and confusion that is created by sexual abuse.. Many boys are never taught by our parents the difference between masculinity and just being a good man.

Many male victims were also taught that during threatening situations most people will respond in one of two ways -- fight or flight. In reality, there are three responses, fight, flight or FREEZE. And freezing is what many boys, including myself, do or did when we were threatened.

Freezing when faced with a sexual assault is no less a legitimate response. But many boys and men today feel that because they failed to act, by fighting or fleeing, they must have allowed the abuse to happen. This can lead to a secret shame of believing that the abuse was their fault.

But maybe the most important point I’m building to is this…When a boy is molested and/or raped, there is a biological/physiological response that is beyond his control. The male body was created and designed to respond to an external stimulus to the penis.

As grown-ups we know this and we know the reasons why, but little children, without healthy education about the body, get confused and will feel ashamed about how their body reacted during a sexual assault. In addition little boys are often held responsible when their body reacts as it was intended, even though the child is being held against their will!

“You must have enjoyed it right?”

“I mean after all, it felt good didn’t it?”

“You had an erection; how can you call that being raped?”

These are the things we hear as boys and men that are used to keep us silent. These are the kinds of statements and beliefs that allow the predators to walk free and violate more children.

When a woman molests/rapes a boy, or when a man molest/rapes a boy…guess what will happen? The little boy will, in almost every occasion, get an erection. So let me say this as clearly and loudly as I can, “An erection DOES NOT EQUAL CONSENT.”

And this leads us into something that is key to understanding why most boys and men live in silence.

A couple years ago I met a survivor named Brian Cardoza and he taught me something about my own abuse. He said this,

“I think there are very few things that are unique to male survivors. Trauma is human-centric, not gender specific. I have never met a woman who didn’t experience the first 10-12 things that I have: guilt, denial, anger, etc. What I do think is inherently unique, or maybe the biggest difference between male and female victims of sexual abuse is it causes a man to question himself about a fundamental issue.

A person’s sexuality is core to who they are, and when a boy is sexually abused by a man, it almost always causes him to ask the question, ‘Does that mean I’m gay?’”

And this questioning of sexuality causes a boatload of internal struggles.

They may have never had any thoughts about men prior to the abuse. They may have never had any real concept about homosexuality. Whether they acknowledge it or not, the inner conflict and/or confusion occurs.

Brian also said this.

“Especially with certain societal norms, if the abuse was perpetrated by man, it can make a guy ask himself, ‘Can you still call yourself a man?’ Boys and men question their sexual identity in ways that girls and women usually don’t. It causes us to question the very nature of who we are.

And what about the confusion to young men who identify as gay? Imagine their confusion. Was I born this way or made this way?

And these confusions, questions, and struggles around their identity can cost boys and men their lives. Another victim that had the same perpetrator as myself, talked with me a few months before he died, and he said this.

“His actions made me question everything. I didn’t know who or what I was. So, I drank or took whatever drugs I could. I slept with whoever was around. And that is why I’m going to die soon.”

He passed away, not long after we talked, from complications of HIV. I knew this man. I loved this guy. We grew up together. We played little league sports together. He was one of the sweetest kids with the most tender of hearts. But the predator, disguised as our youth minister, took all that away from him. Eventually costing him his life.

This is the damage caused by sexual predators.

Because no one wants to talk about this. If we say we are advocates, then we need to be advocates for ALL who’ve been violated.

So what can we do to help little boys and adult male survivors? On this there isn’t much variation between boys and girls who’ve been victimized.

Love them unconditionally and without judgment, and help them experience this love.

Help them know their feelings (confusion, anger, depression, fear, numbness, anxiety) are normal.

Help them understand it was not their fault. That they are not to blame. That their physical reaction to whomever harmed them, doesn’t mean that they allowed the abuse or wanted it to happen.

Invite and encourage healthy, open, and shame-free conversations about sexuality, masculinity, and gender.

And beyond everything, let them know they are not alone.

Dave Pittman is the Director of Together We Heal and part of the Safeguarding Initiative Team at GRACE. He teaches churches, schools, and families how to talk with their kids about sexual abuse, how to better identify predatory behavior, and how to properly respond to those who’ve been victimized.